First off I'd like to say this:

RIP Chico. You were a great dog, and a great friend for the last 13 years. We have all our wonderful memories with you as a reminder just how lucky we were to have you. Goodbye, my friend

1 May 1998 - 24 December 2011

So, that's how my Christmas started. I lost one of my best friends.

I thought things could only get better from there, I was wrong.

On Christmas day we were all pretty distraught about Chico, but everyone needed someone to try and contain them from their sadness, which, as usual, was me. Not that I'm complaining about it, it hit me pretty hard as well, y'know? I didn't want to bug my gf about it too much on Christmas day, she's the only person I talk to about these things, and the one person I allow myself to be vulnerable to. So I waited till St. Stephen's day (Dec 26th) to talk to her about it, but near the end of Christmas day she posted a picture of herself on the internet which I wasn't comfortable with her putting up, which annoyed me, so I told her I wasn't comfortable with it and she got annoyed at me and took it down. This meant things were a little heated between the two of us, so I didn't bring up Chico the next morning.

As the day progressed she decided to confess something to me. I listened as she told me she needs to flirt with other people to feel less insecure. This was a huge blindside to me as I have horrible jealousy issues and she stopped doing it so I wouldn't feel as insecure. I was shocked. I can barely even remember what I said. I think I suggested she do it behind my back so I don't notice, or something like that. I don't even know if she replied. She also told me there was something else she needed to talk to me about, but she refuses to tell me what, which I kept from effecting me last night and now my mind's racing at a mile a minute coming up with scenarios as to what it could be, each more horrible than the last.

I need her. . .